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Lesson 19: Family Roles
In our last lesson we looked at marriage. God created marriage in the garden of Eden and it became a sacred institution. With the nucleus of the family in place God gave to mankind yet another blessing: the ability to procreate. We can have children thus expanding the family beyond the nucleus of husband and wife. When we think about what is important to us, we would probably all list our family as the highest priority. If those family relationships are good and strong, chances are they form a strong foundation for a happy and productive life. If those relations are broken or negative, family life can be a source of great pain. The Bible gives us instruction on family relations. God, the creator of families, wants our family to be happy and healthy. If we follow His blueprint, we can achieve the joy that He plans for us in the family.
In this lesson we will look at fatherhood, motherhood, and childhood. In the Bible there are wonderful instructions for what we should do and what we should not do as family members. There are stories in the Bible that illustrate important principles for us today.
Q1. How does God view children in regard to their place in the family? Read Psalm 127:3-5.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Children are a gift of God. Like everything else in the world, they belong to God. God has made us stewards of these children, therefore it is a sacred responsibility. We must always remember that children are first and foremost God's property.
Q2. What responsibility accompanies feeding and housing our children? Read Proverbs 22:6 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21, 6:5-9.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
There is a proverb which says, "A tree bents when it is young ". What a child learns about love, character and morals, remains in his or her mind all of his or her life. Parents are to raise their children knowing the Ten Commandments and the principles contained in them. They must be taught to love God with their whole heart, soul and strength. The religious education of children is the responsibility of the parents and should never be considered the work of the school or government. Notice that the text says that in the morning and evening, after waking and before sleeping, the parents should be giving religious instruction. Led by the father when present and the mother when the father is absent, it is a good idea to begin and end each day with prayer and Bible reading together as a family. Families may also want to sing spiritual songs and hymns together for this “morning worship.” Then throughout the day when the parents are together with their children the instruction should continue. Unfortunately many parents are so wrapped up in their own lives they have given their children over to television and the computer to be their babysitters and educators. Believing parents should be spending time with their children in positive interaction each day.
Q3. What example did Abraham leave us in regard to religious education? Read Genesis 18:18-19.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q4. What should form the basis of our relationship with our children? Read 1 John 4:16; Titus 2:4, 5 and John 3:35.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Love is the character of God. As He loves, we also should love our children. They are not our servants or slaves, but a heritage of the Lord to treat with respect and honor as the property of God.
Q5. What advice does the Bible give regarding child-raising? Read Proverbs 3:12, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13, 29:15 and Hebrews 12:5-11.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
There are modern philosophies of child-raising that advocate leaving the child to themselves and they will grow up correctly. But we see in the Bible that we are born with a sinful nature and if left to themselves children most likely will go in the wrong direction. Some people go to the opposite extreme and use physical punishment for every infraction. The Bible is not saying that we should constantly use corporal punishment. It does say that there is a time and place for it. If we love our children we will neither be constantly hitting them nor leaving them on their own without correction. We should make sure that we are calm when we discipline so that it is done properly and in love.
Many parents wait until their child is older to correct him. But by this time the pattern of life is so deeply ingrained it is difficult or impossible to change the character. When the selfish tendencies or strong willful behavior begins to exhibit itself at age 2 and 3 and 4, this is the prime time to help children learn right from wrong. Speak to your children, explain realities to them. They can learn to love good and hate evil, if all is explained to them. Strong correction for willful disobedience at an early age will help to set them on the path to eternal life.
Q6. What example did Jacob show in considering the needs of his children? Read Genesis 33:13, 14.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Jacob moved along no faster than the children could endure. This is how a father should lead his children: gently, slowly, with their welfare in mind.
Q7. What qualities should be avoided by the man of the household? Read 1 Corinthians 13:11 and Ephesians 6:4.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
A father should not behave as a child, moved along merely by impulse. He should not be like an overgrown, undisciplined boy who needs to be taken care of by his wife like a mother looks after her son. He should be mature with his passions under control, not provoking his children to anger.
Q8. What example did Hannah show in the raising of her child? Read 1 Samuel 1:9-11.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Hannah is put forth as an example in the Bible in that she dedicated her child to God. Samuel was a great and godly man.
Q9. What blessing did Timothy inherit from his mother and grandmother? Read 2 Timothy 1:5.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Faith, as practiced by a godly woman can be transmitted as an heritage to her children, setting a pattern of piety that passes from generation to generation.
Q10. What does the Bible instruct the children to do? Read Ephesians 6:1-3.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q11. What example of fidelity did Daniel's three young friends exhibit? Read Daniel 3:15-18.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Far away from their home with no one there to see what they were doing, these three youth remained loyal to God even under the threat of death.
Q12. What kind of things bring shame to a parent? Read Proverbs 19:26.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q13. What unwise thing did Dinah do that led to sorrowful results? Read Genesis 34:1-2.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Dinah went out to see the "daughters of the land." This youth sought social relations among the ungodly without proper escort. One who seeks pleasure among those that do not fear God place themselves on Satan's ground and invite his temptations. Dinah placed herself in unfavorable circumstances and left herself vulnerable to unhappy events.
Q14. When children seek marriage, what counsel does the Bible give? Read Genesis 28:6-9; 36:2.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Believers are to seek marriage only with believers. Isaac was faithful to give instruction in this matter to his sons. But while Jacob sought to be true to this counsel, Esau later married daughters of Canaan who were idolaters. This was a violation of the covenant and showed that Esau did not respect the birthright which carried the responsibility of maintaining and propagating the covenant from generation to generation.
Q15. What life-long responsibility does God place upon children? Read 1 Timothy 5:4 and John 19:27.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Believing children take care of their aging parents. Jesus entrusted the care of his own mother to John.
Shining Stars Series (Philippians 2:14-16)
Yusuf had been steadily advancing in his faith, but his sporadic attendance at the Bible study and prayer group seemed to erode every spiritual advance he would make. His intentions were good but without consistency he was always prone to fall to temptation. But this evening he had a serious look on his face as he listened to the lesson on parenthood and childhood. Mehmet, who had spent years looking at the faces of youth in classes noticed it and remarked to him.
"Yusuf, you seem to have something on your mind. Is it something you would like to share with the group?"
"Well," Yusuf said uneasily, "When I listen to the Bible instruction on how we are to obey our parents, that sounds all well and good. But if I accepted the ideas you guys are talking about, I would feel uncomfortable doing a lot of the things that my parents do."
Mehmet narrowed his eyebrows to express intense interest and concern. "What things?" he asked.
"Religious things. If I didn't pray like them or participate in their religious ceremonies they would be offended big time. It would be so disrespectful to them."
Mehmet nodded in acknowledgement. "I see what you mean."
"How could I honor my parents and show respect for them and at the same time have a different religion and not participate in their religious activities?" Ece leaned up against Yusuf in a gesture of comfort.
There was a silence in the room as each one thought through the problem. Finally Ekrem spoke up.
"It seems to me to be a matter of priority. Which commandment takes precedence: You shall have no other gods before me, or honor your father and mother? It seems to me that God has to come first."
Yusuf said, "That is easy to say but not so easy to do. I eat at their table and sleep on their couch. They could just tell me to get out. Where would I go?"
Ekrem said, "Think about if you went to a Jewish synagogue or you went to a Hindu Temple. You would be with the worshipers there. You might stand when they stood or sit when they sat. You wouldn't actually be participating in their belief system, but you wouldn't be making a disturbance either. You would just be there observing while they are doing their thing."
Mehmet said, "Do you remember in 2 Kings chapter 5 when Naaman the Syrian[1] was cured of leprosy when Elisha the prophet told him to wash seven times in the Jordan River? He was converted and believed in the God of Abraham. He would no longer bow to the idols. Naaman said to Elisha, 'Yet in this thing may the LORD pardon your servant: when my master goes into the temple of Rimmon to worship there, and he leans on my hand, and I bow down in the temple of Rimmon -- when I bow down in the temple of Rimmon, may the LORD please pardon your servant in this thing.' Elisha said to him, 'Go in peace.'[2] Naaman wasn't participating in the idol worship, he was just doing his job."
Reşat added, "If your parents are prayin,g you just observe quietly. If they are making sacrifice you may be there, you may even help carry things or do things, but you could leave the prayers to them."
Yusuf interjected, "What about at a funeral? Could I be there and not line up with them in their prayers? Everyone would look at me and then it would be a shame for my parents. Would I have to avoid going to a funeral to avoid lining up with them in their prayers?"
Mehmet said, "Those are the kinds of things that a young believer would have to sit down and talk about with their parents beforehand. Maybe you could go to the back of the line and no one would see that you weren’t actually doing the prayer. Or maybe you could take pictures of the line up and you wouldn’t be in it. They might be accommodating. Then again it is quite possible that an irreconcilable difference could happen. Jesus said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life.'[3] That means people may have to leave their parents' house to be believers. But they will be rewarded with mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters and children in the household of faith in this life and eternal life when Jesus comes."
The atmosphere in the home was thoughtful and serious when Yusuf and Ece left the meeting. But Yusuf walked away a different person. He could see it was time for him to shed his youthful, unpredictable style and become a man. After Yusuf left Ece on the bus, he walked to his house in the darkness. He was struck with the responsibility of the knowledge he had gained. But he had so much he could potentially lose. His mind was racing, tracing each of his actions to its potential conclusion. “What should I do?” he asked himself over and over. Finally he looked up into the night sky with trembling lips and said, "Okay God, I am yours."
Q16. What advice would you give Yusuf about relating to his parents?
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q17. What promise of revival and repentance does the Bible give just prior to the coming of Christ in the end? Read Malachi 4:5-6.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Call to commitment through prayer.
[1] The Fate Changer Book 3 Lesson 7.
[2] 2 Kings 5:18, 19.
[3] Luke 18:29, 30.
In our last lesson we looked at marriage. God created marriage in the garden of Eden and it became a sacred institution. With the nucleus of the family in place God gave to mankind yet another blessing: the ability to procreate. We can have children thus expanding the family beyond the nucleus of husband and wife. When we think about what is important to us, we would probably all list our family as the highest priority. If those family relationships are good and strong, chances are they form a strong foundation for a happy and productive life. If those relations are broken or negative, family life can be a source of great pain. The Bible gives us instruction on family relations. God, the creator of families, wants our family to be happy and healthy. If we follow His blueprint, we can achieve the joy that He plans for us in the family.
In this lesson we will look at fatherhood, motherhood, and childhood. In the Bible there are wonderful instructions for what we should do and what we should not do as family members. There are stories in the Bible that illustrate important principles for us today.
Q1. How does God view children in regard to their place in the family? Read Psalm 127:3-5.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Children are a gift of God. Like everything else in the world, they belong to God. God has made us stewards of these children, therefore it is a sacred responsibility. We must always remember that children are first and foremost God's property.
Q2. What responsibility accompanies feeding and housing our children? Read Proverbs 22:6 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21, 6:5-9.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
There is a proverb which says, "A tree bents when it is young ". What a child learns about love, character and morals, remains in his or her mind all of his or her life. Parents are to raise their children knowing the Ten Commandments and the principles contained in them. They must be taught to love God with their whole heart, soul and strength. The religious education of children is the responsibility of the parents and should never be considered the work of the school or government. Notice that the text says that in the morning and evening, after waking and before sleeping, the parents should be giving religious instruction. Led by the father when present and the mother when the father is absent, it is a good idea to begin and end each day with prayer and Bible reading together as a family. Families may also want to sing spiritual songs and hymns together for this “morning worship.” Then throughout the day when the parents are together with their children the instruction should continue. Unfortunately many parents are so wrapped up in their own lives they have given their children over to television and the computer to be their babysitters and educators. Believing parents should be spending time with their children in positive interaction each day.
Q3. What example did Abraham leave us in regard to religious education? Read Genesis 18:18-19.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q4. What should form the basis of our relationship with our children? Read 1 John 4:16; Titus 2:4, 5 and John 3:35.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Love is the character of God. As He loves, we also should love our children. They are not our servants or slaves, but a heritage of the Lord to treat with respect and honor as the property of God.
Q5. What advice does the Bible give regarding child-raising? Read Proverbs 3:12, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13, 29:15 and Hebrews 12:5-11.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
There are modern philosophies of child-raising that advocate leaving the child to themselves and they will grow up correctly. But we see in the Bible that we are born with a sinful nature and if left to themselves children most likely will go in the wrong direction. Some people go to the opposite extreme and use physical punishment for every infraction. The Bible is not saying that we should constantly use corporal punishment. It does say that there is a time and place for it. If we love our children we will neither be constantly hitting them nor leaving them on their own without correction. We should make sure that we are calm when we discipline so that it is done properly and in love.
Many parents wait until their child is older to correct him. But by this time the pattern of life is so deeply ingrained it is difficult or impossible to change the character. When the selfish tendencies or strong willful behavior begins to exhibit itself at age 2 and 3 and 4, this is the prime time to help children learn right from wrong. Speak to your children, explain realities to them. They can learn to love good and hate evil, if all is explained to them. Strong correction for willful disobedience at an early age will help to set them on the path to eternal life.
Q6. What example did Jacob show in considering the needs of his children? Read Genesis 33:13, 14.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Jacob moved along no faster than the children could endure. This is how a father should lead his children: gently, slowly, with their welfare in mind.
Q7. What qualities should be avoided by the man of the household? Read 1 Corinthians 13:11 and Ephesians 6:4.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
A father should not behave as a child, moved along merely by impulse. He should not be like an overgrown, undisciplined boy who needs to be taken care of by his wife like a mother looks after her son. He should be mature with his passions under control, not provoking his children to anger.
Q8. What example did Hannah show in the raising of her child? Read 1 Samuel 1:9-11.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Hannah is put forth as an example in the Bible in that she dedicated her child to God. Samuel was a great and godly man.
Q9. What blessing did Timothy inherit from his mother and grandmother? Read 2 Timothy 1:5.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Faith, as practiced by a godly woman can be transmitted as an heritage to her children, setting a pattern of piety that passes from generation to generation.
Q10. What does the Bible instruct the children to do? Read Ephesians 6:1-3.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q11. What example of fidelity did Daniel's three young friends exhibit? Read Daniel 3:15-18.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Far away from their home with no one there to see what they were doing, these three youth remained loyal to God even under the threat of death.
Q12. What kind of things bring shame to a parent? Read Proverbs 19:26.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q13. What unwise thing did Dinah do that led to sorrowful results? Read Genesis 34:1-2.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Dinah went out to see the "daughters of the land." This youth sought social relations among the ungodly without proper escort. One who seeks pleasure among those that do not fear God place themselves on Satan's ground and invite his temptations. Dinah placed herself in unfavorable circumstances and left herself vulnerable to unhappy events.
Q14. When children seek marriage, what counsel does the Bible give? Read Genesis 28:6-9; 36:2.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Believers are to seek marriage only with believers. Isaac was faithful to give instruction in this matter to his sons. But while Jacob sought to be true to this counsel, Esau later married daughters of Canaan who were idolaters. This was a violation of the covenant and showed that Esau did not respect the birthright which carried the responsibility of maintaining and propagating the covenant from generation to generation.
Q15. What life-long responsibility does God place upon children? Read 1 Timothy 5:4 and John 19:27.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Believing children take care of their aging parents. Jesus entrusted the care of his own mother to John.
Shining Stars Series (Philippians 2:14-16)
Yusuf had been steadily advancing in his faith, but his sporadic attendance at the Bible study and prayer group seemed to erode every spiritual advance he would make. His intentions were good but without consistency he was always prone to fall to temptation. But this evening he had a serious look on his face as he listened to the lesson on parenthood and childhood. Mehmet, who had spent years looking at the faces of youth in classes noticed it and remarked to him.
"Yusuf, you seem to have something on your mind. Is it something you would like to share with the group?"
"Well," Yusuf said uneasily, "When I listen to the Bible instruction on how we are to obey our parents, that sounds all well and good. But if I accepted the ideas you guys are talking about, I would feel uncomfortable doing a lot of the things that my parents do."
Mehmet narrowed his eyebrows to express intense interest and concern. "What things?" he asked.
"Religious things. If I didn't pray like them or participate in their religious ceremonies they would be offended big time. It would be so disrespectful to them."
Mehmet nodded in acknowledgement. "I see what you mean."
"How could I honor my parents and show respect for them and at the same time have a different religion and not participate in their religious activities?" Ece leaned up against Yusuf in a gesture of comfort.
There was a silence in the room as each one thought through the problem. Finally Ekrem spoke up.
"It seems to me to be a matter of priority. Which commandment takes precedence: You shall have no other gods before me, or honor your father and mother? It seems to me that God has to come first."
Yusuf said, "That is easy to say but not so easy to do. I eat at their table and sleep on their couch. They could just tell me to get out. Where would I go?"
Ekrem said, "Think about if you went to a Jewish synagogue or you went to a Hindu Temple. You would be with the worshipers there. You might stand when they stood or sit when they sat. You wouldn't actually be participating in their belief system, but you wouldn't be making a disturbance either. You would just be there observing while they are doing their thing."
Mehmet said, "Do you remember in 2 Kings chapter 5 when Naaman the Syrian[1] was cured of leprosy when Elisha the prophet told him to wash seven times in the Jordan River? He was converted and believed in the God of Abraham. He would no longer bow to the idols. Naaman said to Elisha, 'Yet in this thing may the LORD pardon your servant: when my master goes into the temple of Rimmon to worship there, and he leans on my hand, and I bow down in the temple of Rimmon -- when I bow down in the temple of Rimmon, may the LORD please pardon your servant in this thing.' Elisha said to him, 'Go in peace.'[2] Naaman wasn't participating in the idol worship, he was just doing his job."
Reşat added, "If your parents are prayin,g you just observe quietly. If they are making sacrifice you may be there, you may even help carry things or do things, but you could leave the prayers to them."
Yusuf interjected, "What about at a funeral? Could I be there and not line up with them in their prayers? Everyone would look at me and then it would be a shame for my parents. Would I have to avoid going to a funeral to avoid lining up with them in their prayers?"
Mehmet said, "Those are the kinds of things that a young believer would have to sit down and talk about with their parents beforehand. Maybe you could go to the back of the line and no one would see that you weren’t actually doing the prayer. Or maybe you could take pictures of the line up and you wouldn’t be in it. They might be accommodating. Then again it is quite possible that an irreconcilable difference could happen. Jesus said, 'Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life.'[3] That means people may have to leave their parents' house to be believers. But they will be rewarded with mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters and children in the household of faith in this life and eternal life when Jesus comes."
The atmosphere in the home was thoughtful and serious when Yusuf and Ece left the meeting. But Yusuf walked away a different person. He could see it was time for him to shed his youthful, unpredictable style and become a man. After Yusuf left Ece on the bus, he walked to his house in the darkness. He was struck with the responsibility of the knowledge he had gained. But he had so much he could potentially lose. His mind was racing, tracing each of his actions to its potential conclusion. “What should I do?” he asked himself over and over. Finally he looked up into the night sky with trembling lips and said, "Okay God, I am yours."
Q16. What advice would you give Yusuf about relating to his parents?
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Q17. What promise of revival and repentance does the Bible give just prior to the coming of Christ in the end? Read Malachi 4:5-6.
A.____________________________________________________________________________
Call to commitment through prayer.
[1] The Fate Changer Book 3 Lesson 7.
[2] 2 Kings 5:18, 19.
[3] Luke 18:29, 30.